Throughout the years I’ve learned a lot in regard to shutting down toxic relationships. Many lessons came at the expense of my hopes and dreams, but it was obvious the relationships were never that strong in the first place, so nothing was truly lost. In the process, I went from being a simpering young girl to a strong woman who’s resigned to sever negative relationship more now than I ever was before. I recognize the advantages.

Despite knowing that ending negative relationships was a good thing, it was always heartbreaking. It was always a disappointment knowing relationships had to come to an end. Knowing a guy wasn’t who I thought he was always broke my heart. And realizing I was no closer to being loved by someone of quality was always a bitter disappointment.

A few brief years ago, I discovered that the guy who I moved in with was cheating on me. So with yet another sigh, I had to move out after only 6 months of living together. I was so tired of this bullshit, of having hope in someone and having them trash it, that the associated heartbreak became minimal. If this is what God wanted – that I had to move out – then so be it. It was becoming clear to me that God wanted me single. I started to really wrap my head around the fact that I may actually be better off, that there may actually be a greater plan for me than just being someone’s girlfriend or wife. And so single. Completely. Permanently. Or at least permanently, for now.

It’s so hard for us to accept that there might be a higher power out there that’s actually trying to give us a better life. We fight against it for so long because we think we know better. For myself, I was able to accept the last breakup much more quickly because I knew my boyfriend may be cheating and I didn’t want a life of feeling that bleak, negative compression that had descended on my son and myself. It was crushing us and we were desperate to get out. And so I made the move. Heartbroken yet again – but I made the move very willingly.

Sometimes God gives us relationships for a reason, and sometimes God takes them away – rather quickly – for other reasons. Of course, it’s easier to figure out why after the disaster has struck and the story has come to a close. Basically, wouldn’t you prefer to break your leg and go to the hospital if it gets you out of a plane crash? We’ve got to think of it like that – a broken leg and a plane crash – it’s really just that simple. The broken leg is the breakup. The plane crash is the disaster of a relationship with your ex. It may hurt, but you’ll heal.