Jeannie, The Funtasian

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This weekend was awesome – partly due to my lack of concentration on men and partly because I did what I wanted to do: shoot head shots. Shooting portraits is so much easier when the model is stunning, like Jeannie, The Funtasian.

“I used to cover myself in mud to keep the mosquitoes off,” said the full-time mother of two who’s eccentric flair has endeared her to not only to the Long Island comedy scene, but to comedy aficionados the world over.

Jeannie, founder of comedy blog, The Funtasian, has this to offer on her new-found popularity: “Be honest. Be patient. Use Clarisonic.”

Thankfully there were no mosquitos Saturday, but the folks driving over the tracks were just as pesky. “You shouldn’t hang out on the tracks,” one wrinkly old codger suggested, “They’re live tracks.”

“Okay,” Jeannie said sweetly, batting her lashes at him. As he drove away in amazement that a hot model just spoke to him, Jeannie flashed her middle fingers in his wake. “I’m not a dumbass,” she laughed. “But if people keep stopping us to tell us that these tracks are live, we will eventually get hit by a train!”

You can catch up with Jeannie and her Clarisonic at her website, funtasian.com.

WTH, Sunday?!

I thought Sunday is supposed to be a day of rest. Why is my laundry timer going off? Aren’t they Laundry Fairies supposed to take care of that???

You’re a top commenter! I LOVE THAT!

Huge thanks to Jolene, SexAndTheCincy, DesireAndDepravity, Just Meg and Looking At Love for being my top commenters! Hugs and love, hugs and love!

Top Commenters on 1YearOfSingle's Blog

The walk of shame

I’m pretty sure I just saw blonde girl doing the walk of shame at 8:30 this morning as I sat at a light on my way to Starbucks. My first thought was, “Thank God it’s not me,” and my second was, “Whats with the stomach – is she prego already?” She was a relatively thin girl but her serious frontal MuffinTop was betraying a lack of workout. “Poor thing,” I thought as I tucked in the fat roll over my cotton-candy colored sweats. At which point the light turned green and I made my way to Starbucks to ordered a Venti Mocha Frap.

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I shot her!

The Funtasian

I just shot Jeannie, The Funtasian! I’m trying to push forward with my year of “me” and in doing so, I’m shooting more. I’m a graphic designer during the day, but I love photography and I try to freelance on the weekends. Making folks happy with a great shot is so much fun, especially when the model is gorgeous – like Jeannie!

We had an awesome photo shoot today: train tracks, gorgeousness, attitude and all – it was a blast. I’ll be posting photos this week, but in the meantime check out Jeannie’s blog, The Funtasian.

And here is a little teaser photo. What do you think?

Water, water everywhere, but nothing I can drink

The theory that there’s plenty of fish in the sea would be accurate if you had a taste for mackerel, cod or blowfish. What if the only fish you liked were salmon? Salmon swim upstream, for God’s sake!

Lost, Annoyed & Quite Pathetic

I feel lost without having someone to “like” and I’m finding that annoying and quite pathetic. I blame this on my parents’ preconditioning.

Today’s Good Deed

The commuter lot where I park in the morning usually fills very quickly. As I walked from my car to the platform, I noticed a woman looking for an open space. My good deed: I calmly hailed her down and did a Vanna White to show her the open spot. “Thank you so much!” she said, out her car window. The spot was about 25 rows closer to the platform than the remaining open spaces 🙂

The Undercover Asshole

Searching for Tiffany’s reminded me of this lovely glossary addition: The Undercover Asshole. The UA could actually be male or female. It’s a person who’s seemingly genuine, who spurs-on a friendship or romance with you, but ultimately has their own agenda and isn’t as concerned for the relationship as you are, thereby hurting you in the process. Typically we don’t discover their agenda until it’s too late.

I Google my ex …

I Google my ex occasionally to remind myself what a jerk he was, simply because I tend to only remember him at his best. Sometimes we all need that reminder before we erroneously write and hit “send.”

He doesn’t like you. Get over it.

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

bye jason

If a guy doesn’t like you, chances are you know it. You just don’t want to admit it to yourself so you over analyze every text he sends you and tell your friends that he hates you so they are forced to be like “omg nooooo he totally likes you, why else would he come over at 3 am when he’s blackout and eat the quesadilla you made him then pass out in your bed?” If you don’t think he likes you, go against your instincts to drunk text him “come over and bring your handcuffs and Taco Bell lol” and read these tips instead so you can avoid looking like a fucking idiot. You’re welcome.

If he

1. suddenly comes down with a mysterious illness the night of your birthday party
2. had time to tweet, update his status and/or change his profile picture after he read your text…

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Man the F Up

LOL See I’m not the only one who thinks this. You go girl.

ModernIdeals

Guys are stupid. I know we know this, but damn, man the fuck up and say you aren’t interested. This goes for several people in my life right now. I may not be the best flirter, or the hottest chick on the planet, but damn I’m human.
Don’t just run away. I don’t even care if you lie about seeing someone else. But say something.

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Heartbreak and The Dating Game

“The Undercover Asshole” is in here… read on…

Searching For Tiffany's

I’ve learned something through dating. There are three basic different types of males. There’s the genuinely nice guy, the blatant asshole, and the deceptively nice guy.

The genuine nice guy is the one every girl dreams about, the real life Colin Firths or Ryan Goslings. They aren’t perfect by any means, but they have good hearts and good intentions. They think of others before themselves. Treating a woman right is something that comes naturally to them. They are the guys who buy a woman flowers because they want to see her eyes light up, not because they have an ulterior motive or just think it’s something expected of them.

These guys exist. They aren’t an elusive, endangered species. The problem is they’re often snatched up early in the dating game. They’re the high school sweethearts, the college loves. Often times they’ve been hurt deeply by a woman they love and…

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Awards! Thank you!!

I was nominated for three awards but between my commute and blonde-ness, I haven’t posted diddly-doo about them.  Huge thanks and hugs to the nominators! Will post asap

Why does it make me laugh to think of throwing little dogs when I see them being pulled along the NYC streets?

Lol “Aw look you sweet little poochie. Here boy aw look you’re so tiny…” Lift dog with one hand and over-hand throw the dog to the other side of the street. Did he clear the box truck?