After years and countless guys asking why I’m single, I’ve decided to tally the list of reasons why I’m single. In no specific order of romances, and often combined:

• He was an alcoholic
• He was bipolar
• He was a narcissist
• He stole credit cards
• He smoked weed
• He was on steroids
• He heated on me
• He was a little too much into surfing
• He was too materialistic
• He constantly tallied the finances of every one he knew
• He talked too much shit about his friends
• He was nasty to me for no reason too many times
• He was married
• He wasn’t divorced
• He wasn’t sure if he wanted to get divorced
• He went back to his wife
• He wanted to go back to his wife
• He went back to his girlfriend
• He wanted to go back to his girlfriend
• He wanted threesomes
• He had no motivation for success
• He was too obsessed with his job
• He moved to Florida
• He lived in Pennsylvania
• He may have been gay
• He never told his friends who I was
• He couldn’t handle my psycho family
• I couldn’t handle dating while still living with my psycho family
• He had no backbone
• He was too white trash
• He wasn’t a good father to his own kids
• He was unreliable
• He disappeared all the time
• He was a compulsive liar
• I wasn’t attracted to him
• He tried to father my son before we were really dating
• He sweated in a very strange way
• He was a self-declared womanizer
• He didn’t listen to a thing I said
• His mother was dying (she really was)
• He didn’t like blow jobs

There you go! That’s off the top of my head. I started to get a very Jim Carey, Liar, Liar voice going in my head while I read the list. Sadly some of those are compiled issues.