Being Single, Bitches, Breakups, Dating, Life, OMG WTF? (Aka: Crazy Discoveries), Relationships

“Why Are You Single?”

After years and countless guys asking why I’m single, I’ve decided to tally the list of reasons why I’m single. In no specific order of romances, and often combined:

  • He was an alcoholic
  • He was bipolar
  • He was a narcissist
  • He stole credit cards
  • He smoked weed
  • He was on steroids
  • He heated on me
  • He was a little too much into surfing
  • He was too materialistic
  • He constantly tallied the finances of every one he knew
  • He talked too much shit about his friends
  • He was nasty to me for no reason too many times
  • He was married
  • He wasn’t divorced
  • He wasn’t sure if he wanted to get divorced
  • He went back to his wife
  • He wanted to go back to his wife
  • He went back to his girlfriend
  • He wanted to go back to his girlfriend
  • He wanted threesomes
  • He had no motivation for success
  • He was too obsessed with his job
  • He moved to Florida
  • He lived in Pennsylvania
  • He may have been gay
  • He never told his friends who I was
  • He couldn’t handle my psycho family
  • I couldn’t handle dating while still living with my psycho family
  • He had no backbone
  • He was too white trash
  • He wasn’t a good father to his own kids
  • He was unreliable
  • He disappeared all the time
  • He was a compulsive liar
  • I wasn’t attracted to him
  • He tried to father my son before we were really dating
  • He sweated in a very strange way
  • He was a self-declared womanizer
  • He didn’t listen to a thing I said
  • His mother was dying (she really was)
  • He didn’t like blow jobs

There you go! That’s off the top of my head. I started to get a very Jim Carey, Liar, Liar voice going in my head while I read the list. Sadly some of those are compiled issues.