You don’t have to be a party animal every holiday

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I remember feeling like there was something wrong with me if I didn’t go out every holiday. The truth is, not everyone goes out and parties every holiday. Don’t look at Facebook as an example of what life should be – Facebook tends to only show the best parts of people’s lives. Thinking that every holiday should be like Facebook’s display of holiday gatherings is unrealistic.

Allow yourself to stay home sometimes. Spend time with your family in your own space. Don’t let friends make you feel guilty for getting rest and relaxation – especially if you’re going through a divorce or breakup. We certainly didn’t feel guilty for taking a 2pm nap when we were 16 – why feel guilty now? Yes, you should go out during a divorce/breakup. Yes, you should stay in touch with friends. But stopping to smell the roses is also necessary. And doing so during the holidays is a great way to celebrate your new-fought freedom. You can have just as much fun and relaxation in your own pool, with your own bbq. Go out tomorrow, and let your friends know what a kickass time you had chillin’ by the pool.

I Had it. You Have It.

IMG_0649.JPG Here’s something you may not have even considered: You have the power to save yourself. The strength to save yourself is like an old closet in your home. You may have forgotten it’s there, you may not use it as much as you used to – you may even be afraid to look inside. But when you do, you’ll be thrilled at the strength you forgot you had.

I have a problem

I have a problem accepting weak people. I get this from my father – who’ve I’ve most recently discovered is the mother of all wimps.

Years ago I left my husband while my son was still in diapers. I was terrified. I was scared I was going to die as well. My ex-husband had hunting equipment – including a gutting knife. But the thing that I feared the most was that my son would grow up living in a toxic environment and not learn what healthy love is.

I have a problem with fathers that dont have the same fear. I have a problem with these men because they dont defend their children. They’re so wrapped up in their fear of living alone that they allow the children to live in unhealthy and sometimes dangerous environments.

My father was the epitome of this kind of coward. While he safely went to work every day, his children were left alone with a passive aggressive psychotic whack job, and he allowed himself continually to believe that we were okay.

Years later the most atrocious facts were revealed to me that made my own sad outlook on my mother pale hideously in comparison. After struggling to process the newest information, one thought formed: my father never saved us. He could have saved us at any time, but he never did. As twenty-somethings we joked about how my father put his head in the sand whenever there was a problem with the family, but it ran much deeper than that.

I was dating a great guy with a wife who sounded similar to my mother. After months of brainwashing by her, he’s now walking in my father’s shoes. He’s not saving his kids.

As a child of psychological abuse, it’s devastating to know children may be in similar situations, and I so desperately want to help them. But I’m nobody in their lives. At this point I can only pray that he finds his strength again before his children end up like my father’s.

But I have a problem sitting back and waiting to see if that day will ever come.

To-Do: Build Strength

Build Strength

I play softball, and years ago I was an MVP player. I ‘m still good but my endurance and strength – compared to how I used to be in college – is gone. In this next year I’m going to workout not only to lose that last 15, but to gain endurance and strength to wow my co-ed team and get back to being an MVP.

To-Do: Build Strength

Build Strength

I play softball, and years ago I was an MVP player. I ‘m still good but my endurance and strength – compared to how I used to be in college – is gone. In this next year I’m going to workout not only to lose that last 15, but to gain endurance and strength to wow my co-ed team and get back to being an MVP.