Being Single · Breakups · Divorce · Life · Memories · Music · Recovery Help · Relationships · The Evacuation

Find your own theme song

In 2009 I left my abusive husband after he went off for a weekend of hunting. After I settled in my new apartment and the weeks passed, every now and then I would feel overwhelmed with what the future held.

So while I held my 2yo in my arms, we would gently dance around the living room to this song. My son would giggle as I bounced and dipped his tiny baby body, and it would help remind me that I did the right thing – no matter what my toxic parents said – I saved both my son and myself from a life of abuse.

This is the song I would play for my son. So when times are stressed and I get a little worried, I still play this song.

Whether you’re female or male, remember you are not alone. Find your own theme song and hold it tight.

-1Yos

Breakups · Relationships

Women & Breakup Conversations

Something in a movie the other night reminded me of how emotionally strong women are. My experience is that men do not want to hurt our feelings – the best break ups I’ve ever had involved the men who had the balls to say something. Of course I did not want to hear it – but I was so impressed with the respect they gave me to calmly state how they were feeling without trying to make a dramatic scene. It’s to those men that I have the utmost respect. Because that, my friends, is strength.

♥️

Relationships · The Law of Attraction

The Law of Attraction

🌿 Did you know that centuries ago people were convinced that the world was flat? There was nothing that anyone can do to convince the population that the world was indeed round. Had you been someone who believe that the world was round, you would have been laughed into an insane asylum. Imagine an entire population thinking that the world is flat. Laughable now, right?

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Have you ever been to a beach? Have you ever sat on the sand at the beach and watched the water come into the shore, then leave again, come in to the shore and roll out again? What about on land: Have you ever stood in an empty building and shouted just to hear your own echo come back?

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Just as these things happen – waves going out and returning, so do your thoughts. However, similar to the echo in an empty room, what comes back to you is amplified, and it’s not just an emotional thought, is enough time and emotional attention, it returns as an actual thing.

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And it’s based in actual science.

No shit.

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For anyone thinking “this is complete bullshit,” feel free to keep running your life into the ground with constant negative thoughts. But if you’re tired of feeling like the world is against you, and the reign of crap is never ending, I urge you to take six months to focus on nothing but the good things in your life. No excuses.

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If you refuse, then I say you like your life as crappy as it is. It’s your choice.

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Being Single · Relationships

Can traveling make you just as healthy as dieting?

I would venture to say that most people make plans to lose weight or trim-down in the new year. I’ve done so countless times myself. And yet by the time each February rolls around, I’m bored with the calorie counting and repetitive fitness schedule. Another resolution down the drain.

1YearOfSingle quote
Make traveling your new New Year’s resolution.

Just recently, my officemates and I had been talking about the Keto Diet (although they have taken advantage of its theory much more than I have). It got me thinking about New Years resolutions and fitness. Should I attempt another fitness-health resolution? So boring, I muse. I shouldn’t have to make a resolution in order to be healthy. I want to do something else.

When I saw this meme I thought, This is brilliant. Of course! This is the entire enchilada wrapped up into one shebang. If you become more active – if you get involved in your own life, including traveling – you’ll most likely lose weight and naturally become more healthy. I’ve done it before. I can do it again. So in essence, a healthy  preoccupation with anything other than food – exploring new locations and people – should most likely help me to lose weight and become more healthy. An article by Forbes discusses the same thing, citing multiple benefits and studies on how health is improved when we travel for recreation.

I love that. I believe the mind has to be involved in other things other than food. After all, the more I’m forced to think about dieting, the more I eat. It’s simple Law of Attraction. Add to that how we become stressed when we overeat, and it’s pretty clear to me that traveling can actually outweigh the benefits of dieting alone.

And so I put this to you as well. Make traveling and discovery your new, New Year’s resolution. It’s not exactly tossing aside health – it’s incorporating it. The more you explore and see the world, the healthier you become.

📍#travel 📍

Relationships

You don’t have to be a party animal every holiday

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I remember feeling like there was something wrong with me if I didn’t go out every holiday. The truth is, not everyone goes out and parties every holiday. Don’t look at Facebook as an example of what life should be – Facebook tends to only show the best parts of people’s lives. Thinking that every holiday should be like Facebook’s display of holiday gatherings is unrealistic.

Allow yourself to stay home sometimes. Spend time with your family in your own space. Don’t let friends make you feel guilty for getting rest and relaxation – especially if you’re going through a divorce or breakup. We certainly didn’t feel guilty for taking a 2pm nap when we were 16 – why feel guilty now? Yes, you should go out during a divorce/breakup. Yes, you should stay in touch with friends. But stopping to smell the roses is also necessary. And doing so during the holidays is a great way to celebrate your new-fought freedom. You can have just as much fun and relaxation in your own pool, with your own bbq. Go out tomorrow, and let your friends know what a kickass time you had chillin’ by the pool.

Alcoholics · Being Single · Breakups · Bucket List · Cheaters · Dating · Dating Tips · Dieting · Dysfunctional · Goals · Life · Marriage · Parents · Quotes · Recovery Help · Relationships

I Had it. You Have It.

IMG_0649.JPG Here’s something you may not have even considered: You have the power to save yourself. The strength to save yourself is like an old closet in your home. You may have forgotten it’s there, you may not use it as much as you used to – you may even be afraid to look inside. But when you do, you’ll be thrilled at the strength you forgot you had.

Breakups · Dysfunctional · Life · Marriage · Relationships

I have a problem

I have a problem accepting weak people. I get this from my father – who’ve I’ve most recently discovered is the mother of all wimps.

Years ago I left my husband while my son was still in diapers. I was terrified. I was scared I was going to die as well. My ex-husband had hunting equipment – including a gutting knife. But the thing that I feared the most was that my son would grow up living in a toxic environment and not learn what healthy love is.

I have a problem with fathers that dont have the same fear. I have a problem with these men because they dont defend their children. They’re so wrapped up in their fear of living alone that they allow the children to live in unhealthy and sometimes dangerous environments.

My father was the epitome of this kind of coward. While he safely went to work every day, his children were left alone with a passive aggressive psychotic whack job, and he allowed himself continually to believe that we were okay.

Years later the most atrocious facts were revealed to me that made my own sad outlook on my mother pale hideously in comparison. After struggling to process the newest information, one thought formed: my father never saved us. He could have saved us at any time, but he never did. As twenty-somethings we joked about how my father put his head in the sand whenever there was a problem with the family, but it ran much deeper than that.

I was dating a great guy with a wife who sounded similar to my mother. After months of brainwashing by her, he’s now walking in my father’s shoes. He’s not saving his kids.

As a child of psychological abuse, it’s devastating to know children may be in similar situations, and I so desperately want to help them. But I’m nobody in their lives. At this point I can only pray that he finds his strength again before his children end up like my father’s.

But I have a problem sitting back and waiting to see if that day will ever come.

Being Single · My List Items · Relationships

To-Do: Build Strength

Build Strength

I play softball, and years ago I was an MVP player. I ‘m still good but my endurance and strength – compared to how I used to be in college – is gone. In this next year I’m going to workout not only to lose that last 15, but to gain endurance and strength to wow my co-ed team and get back to being an MVP.

Being Single · My List Items · Relationships · To-Do

To-Do: Build Strength

Build Strength

I play softball, and years ago I was an MVP player. I ‘m still good but my endurance and strength – compared to how I used to be in college – is gone. In this next year I’m going to workout not only to lose that last 15, but to gain endurance and strength to wow my co-ed team and get back to being an MVP.