A virtual friend of mine decided that he hates everyone. He was so cranky and cantankerous in the description of how he hates everyone that it got me thinking, “He’s on the man-rag,” and I wondered what would make him feel better. Which made me wonder – what would make just about every adult in the world feel better? Which then funneled back into, “What would make me feel better if I was having a bad day?”

Sex.

No, not sex with any guy off the streets. (Quite frankly: I rarely find anyone attractive, let alone want their jolly-horse plunging into me.*) I’m talking sex with someone you care about. Yes. That was it. That was my answer.

I asked my virtual friend, “If you had awesome sex would it turn your day around?” His answer:

“You’re kidding right?”

Okay well shoot me for being naive, but after watching the first three episodes of Sex and the City I was interested in a little verbal research.

I thought again about what would turn around (had I been having a bad day in the first place) and my thoughts immediately went to one person. And a shower. Oh that glorious shower. And I was quite happy with my decision. A little too happy.

Let’s take a typical day with your asshole boss. Crappy right? But after entertaining your brain with scintillating scenarios of pulling the object of your affection into a utility closet for a bout of heavy breathing and suddenly the day is all sunshine.

So instead of the question being “Would sex make your day better?” It should probably be more like, “How do we find or even connect with someone in order to have that mind-blowing sex that does make our day better?”

Let’s take my last boyfriend, for example. You would think that a long-distance relationship would make me want to take to his bed for hours when we finally saw each other. Sure I was attracted to him, but I also occasionally avoided being kissed. I couldn’t tell if it was my exhaustion or if I was lacking the proper mental connection with him. A lack of proper mental connection won’t allow for the perfect sexual scenario or a brighter day. It’ll end up producing the kind of sex that may buzz you for a few hours, but will eventually wear off like the caffeine from the morning’s latte. Back to cranky and cantankerous.

What’s really needed for day-altering sex is mind-connection sex. If you’ve got a physical and mental connection with someone, it beats disconnected-body-bumping any day because your brain is stimulated as well as your body. And the affects of pleasurable brain stimulation can last quite a while.

The next time you’re in a crappy work-mood think about what would perk you up. Sure body-bumping is possible but it’s the mind connection that could be your key to happiness. And if you have happiness, you have everything.

-1YOS

* That’s a blog for another day!