Being Single, Breakups, Cheaters, Divorce, Life, Marriage, Memes, Quotes, Recovery Help, Relationships

could have, should have, would have

 
 Don’t stress the could haves. If it should have, it would have. / It kills me when people say, “But we were meant for each other” or “we were perfect for each other. That’s crap. If they were so perfect for each other, they’d still be together. I started training myself to concentrate on that aspect of the breakup, not what I thought “should have been.” What we think “should have been” is just what we really wanted. So jot it down on your “want” list, and move on. 

Being Single, Breakups, Dating, Dating Tips, Life, Quotes

am i there yet??

One of the things I concentrate on after a breakup is myself. I like to reevaluate what I’m looking for in another decent human, and I can’t do that if I’m not happy with who I am both mentally and pysically. So I hop a train to Happyville by seeing a therapist (“Why was I wish him? He made me bat-shit crazy!”) and I start working out. Yeah, yeah, I should have been exercising while I was dating the guy, sure. But when you live two hours from your job, are raising a child on your own, coaching a sports team and freelancing, working-out tends to get pushed to a back burner. Or in my case: right off the stove. 

But when I do workout… look out! I’m a rock star! I immediately feel like I can conquer the world, my career, my breakup and my insane schedule. And it’s what makes me jump on the scale and think…

  

Relationships

Remember everything, not just the good

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I have an ex who I constantly “feel for,” meaning — I feel bad that he’s “trapped” in a toxic marriage. But he chose that path. He made his decision. He could leave like all the other great dads that I know, but he doesn’t. He chooses to stay. And because of his choice, he’ll not only be stuck with someone who cheated on him, but he’ll be stuck with someone who makes his life — according to him — a living hell. Their relationship is one of the most toxic I’ve ever witnessed, and yet he doesn’t leave. That’s weakness.

If you find yourself starting to fall for the same jerk repeatedly, remember that someone, somewhere is dealing with his true colors. And if he ever breaks with her and gets with you, chances are he’ll most likely treat you the same way.

Relationships

Cherishing the misconceptions?

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How often do we say “He changed!” “She changed!” Unless it’s over the course of many years I don’t believe people change — I believe they’re just showing you who they really are. Sometimes it’s a simple incompatibility, and sometimes it’s a gigantic RED FLAG 🔴 Whatever the case, those initial ideas of who we THOUGHT they’d be is what we really want.

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1000 Followers!

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1000 Instagram followers today! Thank you so much to all of you who follow, post, reply, laugh, forward and repost. Thank you!! 👍❤️

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Cross or Burn?

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The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn. Sometimes the one you want to cross is the one you should burn.

Being Single, Breakups, Cheaters, Dating, Dating Tips, Divorce, Follow Me!, Life, Marriage, Memes, photos, Quotes, Recovery Help, Red Flags, Relationships

Feel Special

2015/01/img_1314.jpg Your relationship should be one where you feel liked and appreciated. Of course this is not a constant, and there are fluctuations in all things, but if your partnership depresses you or you’re constantly searching for affection, it’s probably not the relationship you should be in.

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Live your own life

2015/01/img_1310.jpg If you return to a nutjob because your family wants you to, your friends don’t want anything to change, or your kids are scared, you’re doing it for them, not you. Life your life. They have their own.

Being Single, Breakups, Cheaters, Dating, Dating Tips, Divorce, Dysfunctional, Life, Marriage, Memes, Memories, Quotes, Recovery Help, Red Flags, Relationships

How do they handle the aftermath?

2015/01/img_1236.jpg Let’s say you live the guy/girl, and it’s been some time and you’re talking again. Have they addressed what happened? If you honestly believed they were at fault, were they capable of saying anything, let alone “I’m sorry”? I dated one guy who lied huge, unmistakable lies. He not only completely disrespected me, but tried to tell me I was harsh to him when I discovered his huge, obscene lie. Balls. It’s possible to move on with someone who makes a mistake, but how do they handle the aftermath?

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The feeling you get…

2015/01/img_1062.jpg For all of you who are going through hell right now, this one is for you!

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Clinging to the past?

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/b3f/52627338/files/2014/12/img_0450.jpg There comes a point in a toxic relationship where you have to choose YOU over the past. Sure you may have “invested time,” but what does that matter if the person you’re now with is no longer who they used to be? It doesn’t matter if they WERE or COULD be who you want them to be. If they’re not NOW, then they’re NOT. You now need to think about why it’s so important to stay with someone who doesn’t appreciate your good qualities.

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Proposal Fail

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/b3f/52627338/files/2014/12/img_0372.jpg I’d be horrified (embarrassed) if I jumped to that conclusion… I wonder what happened after? Lol

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Your Life Won’t Suck Now

IMG_0059-0.JPG Sometimes it’s exhausting hearing people say, “You did the right thing.” Because besides not being involved in a toxic, unhealthy relationship, I’m forever alone. And while I love me – and quite honestly can’t think of anyone I’d want to break into my happy little reverie that I’ve got going – sometimes it would be nice to feel rewarded for tough decisions I’ve made with something other than “Your life won’t suck now.” Sometimes that consolation prize just doesn’t cut it.

Being Single, Breakups, Cheaters, Dating, Dating Tips, Life, Marriage, Quotes, Recovery Help, Relationships

IMG_0769.JPG It’s difficult to remain positive when you’re bombarded. I find myself having to stop myself multiple times a day and refocusing on my “Good Thing.” The Good Thing should be something that instantly makes you happy: a vacation, your kids, etc. It seems silly, but it works well. And it cuts down on the negative thoughts. So first: Choose your Good Thing. Next: Whenever you find yourself thinking about anything that makes you sad or angry, stop yourself, allow the thought to go – even without the answers you seek – and think of your Good Thing. It works. 😉👍

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IMG_0763.JPG Getting back together – or staying with – someone who lied and cheated is NOT a prize to me. I’m sorry, all those posts about working it out annoy me. Folks shouldn’t lie and cheat in the first place, and in my opinion the only one who wins in those cases are the people who lied and cheated.

Welcome to the series of posts that started 1YearOfSingle.