I remember feeling like there was something wrong with me if I didn’t go out every holiday. The truth is, not everyone goes out and parties every holiday. Don’t look at Facebook as an example of what life should be – Facebook tends to only show the best parts of people’s lives. Thinking that every holiday should be like Facebook’s display of holiday gatherings is unrealistic.
Allow yourself to stay home sometimes. Spend time with your family in your own space. Don’t let friends make you feel guilty for getting rest and relaxation – especially if you’re going through a divorce or breakup. We certainly didn’t feel guilty for taking a 2pm nap when we were 16 – why feel guilty now? Yes, you should go out during a divorce/breakup. Yes, you should stay in touch with friends. But stopping to smell the roses is also necessary. And doing so during the holidays is a great way to celebrate your new-fought freedom. You can have just as much fun and relaxation in your own pool, with your own bbq. Go out tomorrow, and let your friends know what a kickass time you had chillin’ by the pool.
A few days ago my 11-year-old son told me I should think about getting a hobby. If I wasn’t so shocked, I would have LOL.
“Honey,” I said, “In the last few years, we’ve moved in with my boyfriend, I’ve broken up with myself*, then moved out from my boyfriend’s. I’ve had two major surgeries, you’ve moved schools twice, my job moved to another state, then I changed jobs. I’m exhausted.” Then I added thoughtfully, “I’ve only just started to come out of the haze now.” My son did an “Oh… true…” nod and continued what he was doing with no further interest in the subject.
I’ve always rolled my eyes at blogs and broadcasts that were titled, “Where have I been?” It assumes that every person reading their headline has been dying to know what happened to that blogger and why they’ve been absent. I doubt anyone really cared. If the blogger was actually successful enough, the question of their absence would have been answered by the public long before the blogger realized it was even an issue.
And still – here I am, thinking I should write a “Where have I been?” blog. No one cares. I don’t even care enough about the last few years enough to write about them. Lol > But what I can tell you – or what I’d rather tell you – is what I’ve learned along the way. I’ve learned so much. And I want to tell you about my experiences. Both good and bad. What worked along the way, and what didn’t work.
I’m so happy to be back. Ironically, after all of the shenanigans of 2017, I’m so ecstatic that I can simply call it a “challenging” year. It was probably the most difficult year I’ve ever had, and yet I only want to call it “challenging.” Why? Probably because the previous 45 years before that were what helped me get through 2017.
Let me tell you about it.
Welcome to my not-so-new hobby: 1YearOfSingle.
*Oh, look at you searching for the meaning of that asterisk! Good for you! Well, you found it. I guess I should tell you what it means then? Well, back in 2017, I had to break up with myself because my bonehead boyfriend didn’t have the balls to do it himself. My 11-year-old son and I were feeling completely unwanted, living in the guy’s house, and all the Talks in the world weren’t helping the situation. To add to the pile, he was lying to his daughters about us. So I had to shoot myself in the foot and tell him that it wasn’t working out. As soon as I brought it up, he said something like, “Well now that we know what the problem is…” I wanted to say, “No, dipshit – now that I had the balls to tell you that I already knew what the problem was.” I was furious! The kicker was that my son and I had just moved into his home after donating most of my belongings, and he was out cheating on me and telling his daughters that we were the assholes. The thing that hurt the most is that he brought my son into it. Trash. Complete trash. It pains me that his daughters will never know the truth. And yet, maybe they’re better off.
🌸When I’m single, I feel more free. When I breakup with someone – even when I broke up with my parents – my first thought has always been “What can I do now that I haven’t been able to do before?” Sure, it shouldn’t be that way, but you’re dreaming if you think your partner likes everything you do (or likes to do everything that you like to do). We’re human – it’s simply impossible. And who would want all those similarities, anyway?
So in that vein, I introduce the Mismatch Underwear Theory – or M.U.T.. It basically is a symbol of freedom. I feel freer to do what I want when I’m single – like wearing mismatched goods. Hey, it’s just my thing. Another example: I watch more girlie movies. Another example: I eat Java Mocha Chip for dinner. No biggie.
Make a good point about your Mismatch Underwear Theories below OR Singledom theories below – or at my Instagram (link below) and I just may add you to my bog, or mention you in my upcoming Live Broadcasts! 🌸🙌🏻🌸 Bam! -1YOS
Friday! ☀️🎉 For some of you, it’s Summer Friday. You slept in, grabbed your beach bag and left your laptops at home. For the rest of us, it’s better commute times and ample parking. Either way, your best bet for a good day is staying positive, and looking for the love in your day. List the positive things about YOUR day below! 👊🏼❤️👍🏻
How we have to handle our exes.
The look on your face when your ex approaches you (and you’re not sure why!)
Check out @aquacat on Instagram for more beautiful images of this kitty 😍
When I was in college, I got in an argument with my mother that resulted in her fetching a kitchen knife, and my sister calling the police. When the cops showed, they eventually told me I needed to “listen to my mother.” A few years ago I watched my ex-husband manipulate the system, including lying in court. No evidence was requested from him. I lost the court battle. Last year I was devastated when someone I deeply cared for returned to a toxic spouse. So you see – Im not surprised in recent events. Until we be strong, stand up for justice, truth and honor, the assholes will just keep winning. Now, I honestly don’t know all the details of recent news events but I know what Ive witnessed countless times, and those heartbreaks were enough for me.
Have you ever had that internal conversation with yourself about your significant other, thinking “Why don’t they do this? or, “Why won’t they do that?” Chances are it’s nothing they want to do, it’s only something YOU would do. And that’s where the dilemma comes in. While you should know the things you want in a partner, you also need to realize it’s a list that most likely stems from your own personality traits. Why don’t they do it? Because it’s not in their personality – it’s in yours. And if it’s not in their personality, and you want it, ultimately THEY are not who you want. I was in shock thinking, “How can he NOT want an honest relationship where we work together as partners??” Then I realized – that’s what I want. HE didn’t want that.