Let me introduce you to Jack. My friend, Jen, introduced me to Jack a few years back, and while he amuses the snot out of me, I can’t get rid of him. For example:

“Omg, Jen, he’s been tellin’ me he’s going to judge the city’s Best Body contest! Wtf?”

Jenn: What?! That’s Jacked!

Jack is a mo-fo. He’s everywhere. Car won’t start? It’s Jacked. Boyfriend slobbered on a two-timing ho last night? He’s Jacked. Sometimes the universe is even Jacked… Yeah, that’s the moment that we hang our head for a moment of silence. “It’s the universe,” Jen reminds me, “It’s Jacked.”