Being Single, Breakups, Bucket List, Dating, Fitness, Goals, Life, My List Items, Relationships, To-Do

New School Year, New Focus

IMG_9133.JPG
I’ve been wallowing in “Where am I going with my life?” lately. And it’s not even “What do I want to do?” as much as “What do I want to do next?” I’ve got a mental laundry list of things I’d like to do in life, but no idea where to start.

A few weeks ago I received the typical emails from my son’s school pertaining to his soccer league. I’ve been an athlete most of my life — mainly softball MVP — but also squeezed in a few years of high school soccer. So when the email arrived asking for volunteer parents, I asked my son what he thought about me coaching. He loved it.

“I’ve never coached soccer before,” I explained to him, “Too bad you’re not on the baseball team.” He didn’t care. He was thrilled at potentially having his mom as the coach. So with a bit of anxiety due to a lack of time as well as a relatively dusty soccer memory, I joined.

A few weeks and one coachs’ meeting later I’m knee deep in emails, rosters, snack lists and practice schedules. I’m desperately searching for simplified rules for this league in order to brush-up on terminology and plays. And yet all the while reminding myself that these kids are 7- and 8-year-olds. They’ll hardly be able to nail a corner kick, let-alone know why they have to do it.

I’ve got a steno pad of notes, to-do’s, drill ideas, practice break-downs and notes. I’m having visions of thrilling them all with fun scenarios of bee hives as I explain to them that everyone clustering in a group during play isn’t a good idea — that they should spread out and pass the ball.

Chills. This is fun. This is fun to me. This is fun — not dressing up for a guy I’ve only met online, who has no idea who I am because he only liked my photos and didn’t even bother to read my dating profile but still wants to get together and spend time with me even though he has no idea who I am. This is fun to me — soccer is fun.

This is the epitome of refocusing. After the last few years of severe heartache, I’m getting excited that I may have found a new passion, and it’s not one where I have to hope the guy is mentally stable enough to keep a good thing while he has it. It’s got nothing to do with men — and I love it.

But Im still missing something. I still haven’t made an actual list of goals for my own life. The thought of doing it seems so ridiculous and awkward. Apparently that’s what we’re supposed to do, though. But like I said, it’s not that I don’t know what I want to do — it’s what do I want to do first? … hmm… Looks like it’s going to be coaching.

Being Single, Breakups, Dating, Dream, Goals, Life, My List Items, To-Do

The Importance of Goals

IMG_8432.JPG
When was the last time you jumped into a small boat and drifted into the ocean without oars? Oh… You’ve never done that? Why not? There seems to be an endless supply of reasons why we wouldn’t do that with a tiny boat, yet we do it with our lives every day. I cut unstable men loose constantly but eventually get pulled into someone else’s Crazytown Shore because I neglect to make solid goals for myself — goals that help me feel fulfilled. Instead, I get sucked into a nimrod’s toxic wasteland and spend months spinning down their emotional refuse drain until it takes all my strength to save myself again. It’s like the movie Groundhog Day.

I’ve got plenty of things I want to accomplish in life, but they are all currently just dreams. And the only difference between goals and dreams is a deadline. So far I have yet to set a meaningful plan in motion for any of my dreams.

I attempted documenting my day this past weekend in order to see where my time goes because I complain about having a lack of time to get things done. Until approximately 11am on Saturday — when a friend called and asked me to intervene property retrieval during the breakup with her boyfriend — I was somewhat focused. But after my friend’s phone call, I stopped documenting and completely lost focus. After a few hours of favors, I was completely scattered. And I completely forgot to document the rest of my day.

Attention Deficit Disorder, maybe? Hmm… Does it really matter? I tend to think if I focused on a goal — and the steps leading to that goal — I’d get there sooner. Right now I’m a hungry rat in a sewer chasing my tail with no direction.

I’ve got a few Mind Mapping apps that I’ve been thinking about using to take a look at what I want to accomplish next. A mind map is an octopus-like graph of ideas. It looks like this; this is a mind map of presidents:

IMG_8476.JPG
It’s basically the next-generation outline of thoughts and ideas that can be used to set and accomplish goals. The two apps that I’ve downloaded are:

IMG_8481.JPGSimpleMind+

IMG_8480.JPGMindMeister

The first ideas you jot are your dreams — your end goals. From those end goals, you create lines to smaller steps in the process. By the time you’re finished, you should have a general plan of steps it should take to accomplish your dreams.

I’m going to poke around with these and layout some dreams for myself. When I’m done I should be able to start planning deadlines and goals.

Have you used mind mapping? On what? How did it work out?

I’m currently convinced that without goals, I’ll end-up tying myself to another toxic situation. Instead, I want to tie myself to my dreams and make my life exponentially better by pouring the effort into myself instead of someone else. I think this is a fabulous idea and I’m convinced it’s going to work!

Life, My List Items, Psychic Moments, To-Do

The Message Long Island Medium Has Given to Me

I’ve been watching Long Island Medium like a manwhore at a strip joint on pay day. I think Theresa Caputo is adorable and quite honestly I’ve had the occasional conversation with dead guys, so I feel for her as well. 

But the thing that hit me the most is that I realized by watching home-based reality shows, I’m learning how other families live. Because my own family’s dynamics was about as disturbing as a fox raising chicks, I find it heartwarming to see Theresa’s family thrive in an atmosphere of overwhelming love (despite the distraction of all the “spirit” hanging around).

Since completely severing my ties with my dysfunctional parents, I feel like life has reatarted with pure sunshine – versus the constant cloud-covered gray nightmare that it had been in the past.

But quite honestly, after so many years of “just trying to survive” in that kind of family atmophsere, I realize now that I’m free, I have no idea what to do with myself since I no longer have to base my goals on anyone else. (Clearly, in a healthy family atmosphere I wouldn’t have been basing my goals on anyone else in the first place…)

I’m going to rewatch the show and gather more ideas of what I do want. While it may not be anything like the skydiving that the Caputos do, it should involve some things I never even considered before… Considering the sky’s the limit…

20140518-235258-85978330.jpg

Being Single, Bitches I Love, Bucket List, Dysfunctional, Life, My List Items, To-Do

Clean House

20140310-183623.jpgI’m newly in love with Niecy Nash and the crew of “Clean House” since I’ve been watching in on Netflix while I clean my own place. But honestly – while I love the entire group – my admiration is mostly for Nash. She makes me laugh with her vibrant sassiness!

One woman on the show owned a “coffee table” that was previously used in India – centuries ago – to “cart the dead.” The woman didn’t want to sell the nasty ol’ thing in a garage sale. Really? Cause dead people DNA on the bottom of your glass of iced tea isn’t a problem? Hello! Uh!

Since watching the show I’ve cleaned out two closets, bagged and donated three garbage bags of useful clothing, and compiled a list of sellable items.

Let’s put “Clean House” on my To-Do list and cross it off, cause baby – a Clean House has been a desire of mine since leaving my dysfunctional parents’ home! I’m well on my way to uncluttered happiness! Uh!

Bucket List, Funny!, Gross, Life, My List Items, To-Do

My leg is JACKED!

Ever have a cardiologist tell you your veins were incompetent? I’ve known morons that were incompetent and some men that were incompetent, and even some moronic men that were incompetent, but my veins? Scary!Clearly I'm upset that my leg looks nasty.

One of my Bucket List items is the removal of some incompetent veins in my leg. For God’s sake I’d like to be able to wear a skirt in the summer without scaring small children. This is basically a sterile way of saying my leg looks like someone beat it with a Louisville Slugger.Now, because I am prone to exaggeration, I will tell you that it’s really not that bad – so maybe not a Louisville Slugger – a Sur La Table meat tenderizer, perhaps.

Welcome the endless cardiologist visits to Huntington Medical Group on Long Island, New York. Because after all, if you’re going to have cardiology issues, what better place to go than a town apply named similarly to the sunny beaches of California? My leg is jacked!

But alas, no sun and surf in Huntington Medical Group, just sunny receptionists and a very knowledgeable cardiologist who explained why my vein is as useless as a soggy balloon animal. And that before surgery I have to try a “compression stocking.”

Have you ever tried to put on a compression stocking? What about a tourniquet? Tried a tourniquet?

A compression stocking isn’t like anything you’ve ever stuffed your body into before. Picture Spanx on steroids. Then make it tighter. Apparently compression stockings are supposed to squeeze the life out of you so much so that it forces any remaining body liquids back up to your heart. This can’t possibly be good, but the insurance company thinks it’s fabulous. Probably because they’ve never tried to wear tourniquets.

So I sat on my bathroom floor with what I thought was going to be a helpful pile of sturdy nylon, when in reality it was a torture device that terrorists use in order to bring on sudden panic attacks of the likes of which no war hero has ever seen before. After struggling with the thing for a good ten minutes, I was only able to get it up to my knee. At that point I felt like a surgeon was going to bust into my bathroom and sever my leg. I had to remind myself that I’m not diabetic and my leg is fine, but nervous panic sweat kept popping out on my forehead. Get this tourniquet off me!

Most nylon-wearing folks already know that with typical stockings, you can stretch them open enough to pull them up your leg, then insert your other leg into the remaining stocking hole. With compression stockings, you can’t do that. You can’t “spread” them or stretch them because they’re already tight as hell. In fact, I’m pretty sure if you looked up “tight as hell” in the Urban Dictionary, there would be a picture of compression stockings. And possibly a secondary image of me on the bathroom floor covered in a panic sweat.

Can you imagine paying $60 for nylons that do nothing better than send you to a psych ward? And to think that psych wards would wrap people in arm-tight jackets. No wonder patients rarely recovered. I know the Kings Park Psychiatric Center in Kings Park, New York is closed, but I would still consider checking around the decaying closets for any remaining compression stockings. Needless to say, I had to rip mine off before my mind punctured the barrier between sane and schizoid.

And unfortunately I now have the “privilege” of explaining to the cardiologist that the compression stockings are about as competent as my vein. Xanax

Being Single, Breakups, Dieting, Life, My List Items, To-Do

Rock Climbing

After cutting off cable and watching endless episodes of Biggest Loser on Hulu Plus, I’ve got a big fat hankering to try rock climbing. I know nothing about rock climbing so I’m going to research a few places in New York City. All I need is a wall and an instructor.

This is part of my To-Do list. I may have a friend come and photograph it. Hmmm…

Bitches, Bitches I Love, Dating Tips, Life, My List Items, Recommendations

Follow Me on Twitter

Hot damn, I’m on Twitter! Follow me and I’ll follow you!

Being Single, Bitches, Bitches I Love, Life, My List Items, To-Do

Jeannie, The Funtasian

20130930-133224.jpg
This weekend was awesome – partly due to my lack of concentration on men and partly because I did what I wanted to do: shoot head shots. Shooting portraits is so much easier when the model is stunning, like Jeannie, The Funtasian.

“I used to cover myself in mud to keep the mosquitoes off,” said the full-time mother of two who’s eccentric flair has endeared her to not only to the Long Island comedy scene, but to comedy aficionados the world over.

Jeannie, founder of comedy blog, The Funtasian, has this to offer on her new-found popularity: “Be honest. Be patient. Use Clarisonic.”

Thankfully there were no mosquitos Saturday, but the folks driving over the tracks were just as pesky. “You shouldn’t hang out on the tracks,” one wrinkly old codger suggested, “They’re live tracks.”

“Okay,” Jeannie said sweetly, batting her lashes at him. As he drove away in amazement that a hot model just spoke to him, Jeannie flashed her middle fingers in his wake. “I’m not a dumbass,” she laughed. “But if people keep stopping us to tell us that these tracks are live, we will eventually get hit by a train!”

You can catch up with Jeannie and her Clarisonic at her website, funtasian.com.

Bitches, Bitches I Love, My List Items, Relationships, To-Do

I shot her!

The Funtasian

I just shot Jeannie, The Funtasian! I’m trying to push forward with my year of “me” and in doing so, I’m shooting more. I’m a graphic designer during the day, but I love photography and I try to freelance on the weekends. Making folks happy with a great shot is so much fun, especially when the model is gorgeous – like Jeannie!

We had an awesome photo shoot today: train tracks, gorgeousness, attitude and all – it was a blast. I’ll be posting photos this week, but in the meantime check out Jeannie’s blog, The Funtasian.

And here is a little teaser photo. What do you think?

Being Single, Bitches, Breakups, My List Items, Relationships, To-Do

Wake the Fuck Up & Smash the Rose Colored Glasses

I got three hours of sleep last night and I’m a flaming ball of anger this morning. This is the kind of mood than spawned 1 Year of Single in the first place. My friend, Mark, would laugh and say, “Yeaaaahhh, I like it!”

I need an emotional bootcamp. I need to forever shed the guilt that comes associated with doing the right thing for myself and basically, very assertively stick to my frickin’ guns like it’s a Zombie Apocalypse and we’re running out of God-damned ammo.

I’m sick of feeling like I hurt someone’s feelings when they were erroneously involved with me in the first place. (See previous post).

I’m making the frickin’ To-Do list for my year this year and I’m resetting the mother-frickin clock to today. I’m frickin’ single starting today. No more quasi sort-of dating but not really, using the guys situation as an excuse to carry-on with the pathetic crumb snatching that i was doing.

ME. Me, me, me! Thats right, Mark, Yeeeaaaah!

Being Single, My List Items, To-Do

New Jersey Balloon Festival

I stopped saying “no” and decided to go to some events that I otherwise wouldn’t have attended. One of those little things was the New Jersey Balloon Festival at the Solberg Airport…

20130727-191739.jpg

Being Single, Bitches, Dating Tips, My List Items, Relationships, To-Do

Yes, I’m Saving all my charge for you…

Hey kids! Normally I’d use the last 10% of cell’s battery power to send a photo of the concert that I’m seeing with Jen to the guy I’m dating, but since I’m not dating anyone, here ya go… Train, The Script and Gavin DeGraw at the Nikon at Jones Beach Theater.

20130723-212552.jpg

Being Single, Bitches, Dieting, My List Items, To-Do

Thanks, CC Jacks!

Thanks to CC Jacks for joining me on MyFitnessPal.com during my 1 Year of Single,
Lose that Last 15 journey! See you on the wall, CC Jacks!

Being Single, My List Items, To-Do

To-Do: Learn Adobe’s Digital Publishing Suite

Learn Adobe’s Digital Publishing Suite

Most of the graphic design world is into digital publishing, so at this point if you don’t go digital, you go fossil. My plan is to learn Adobe’s Digital Publishing Suite via Adobe InDesign – which I’ve been working with for YEARS now in the print arena. I’ve shacked up with Lynda.com, so together we’re going to make beautiful digital publications together.

Being Single, My List Items, Relationships, To-Do

To-Do: Build Strength

Build Strength

I play softball, and years ago I was an MVP player. I ‘m still good but my endurance and strength – compared to how I used to be in college – is gone. In this next year I’m going to workout not only to lose that last 15, but to gain endurance and strength to wow my co-ed team and get back to being an MVP.