I had plans tonight that didn’t work out. So at some point during the day I contacted my softball manager and told her that I was going to play our triple-header after all. It’s taken me decades to cater to myself, and that’s exactly what I did tonight.

My team is coed, and because I arrived at the last minute I was put in right field, – which doesn’t actually bother me because most of the guys hit to the outfield, and within the first inning I had already thrown out a girl at second base.

Tonight I decided to use my batting glove instead of going bare, and got a double as well as some pretty good line drives. The beauty of playing on the coed team is that most of the guys don’t think I can hit. I’m a long haired blonde, petite and short. I sometimes hit a homerun in the first inning or two just because the other team assumes that I can’t hit. It’s awesome. Unfortunately, after the first inning or two they back up on me – which is really annoying because then I have to drop it into a hole. Occasionally I’ll switch-hit, which really astounds everyone and makes me laugh. But today I didn’t bother doing that – I just waited a little longer for the pitch and eventually hit to right field instead of left.

During the games I realized that I forgot about the other plans that should have happened today, and the fact that they got messed up. When I was younger, I would have been continuously thinking about it, but now that I’m older I’ve been focusing on what I’m currently doing and I’m so much happier because of it. But it still amazes me that it took years to get to this point.

We ended up run-ruling the other team in both games, which was fine with me because I forgot to bring Gatorade and I started losing my vision. It’s a weird phenomenon that has been happening to me since catching in high school. Luckily one of the guys on the team had Gatorade and I ended up scarfing down his entire bottle.

After the game I went to Whole Foods and I bought myself a steak as well as a few other things that I’d been looking forward to, all the while thinking about how an ex asked why I was single. I’ve heard this before I met him as well. I think it comes down to this: if someone’s not treating me well, I don’t stay. This can be both good and bad because if the person has a momentary lapse in judgment I don’t really give them a second chance. I’ve tried to change that in the last few years, but it still hasn’t worked out with anyone. And I’ve also discovered there’s such a fine line between giving someone a second chance, and being abused.

As I stood in Whole Foods, I realized how happy I was to do what I wanted even though I was alone. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier than I am now. But yet at the same time I still wonder when I’m actually going to meet somebody who’s very compatible with me. And quite frankly I’m tired of hearing “Why are you single?” when it really all comes down to the other person not being available or compatible.

This whole relationship thing is a lot like softball. You can try your hardest but that does not necessarily mean you’ll hit a homerun every time. What you should do is enjoy your time on the field. Enjoy the sunshine and the breezes that come through while you’re playing. And enjoy the friendships that you make along the way; sometimes those last longer than the relationship you might have had during that particular season.