Time moves on. You may have been with someone since your teens, but people change. Lives evolve. Time moves on.
Category: Being Single
The state of being single. Things I’ve come to realize while being single. Why I’m single. Experiences while being single.
A Marriage. To have or to not have.
I’m not against marriage. I’m against alcoholics destroying my life. So I left my husband. My mother had much too much influence over me in the past, convincing me to marry an unstable person. And I actually did it! Sadly, once I married him, I finally had her approval. But the price was enormous, so I eventually left him. You can bet your life I’ll make it my own decision next time. Thankfully she’s out of my life now, but I’ll never forget the disturbing lessons she taught me. Toxic people are ever worth keeping, even if they’re a parent.
Your relationship should be one where you feel liked and appreciated. Of course this is not a constant, and there are fluctuations in all things, but if your partnership depresses you or you’re constantly searching for affection, it’s probably not the relationship you should be in.
Live your own life
If you return to a nutjob because your family wants you to, your friends don’t want anything to change, or your kids are scared, you’re doing it for them, not you. Life your life. They have their own.
How do they handle the aftermath?
Let’s say you live the guy/girl, and it’s been some time and you’re talking again. Have they addressed what happened? If you honestly believed they were at fault, were they capable of saying anything, let alone “I’m sorry”? I dated one guy who lied huge, unmistakable lies. He not only completely disrespected me, but tried to tell me I was harsh to him when I discovered his huge, obscene lie. Balls. It’s possible to move on with someone who makes a mistake, but how do they handle the aftermath?
The feeling you get…
Don’t Waste Your Time… More
No one is perfect, especially when I’ve gone through the hell of dealing with a cheater. So when I finally reach the point when I’m ready to pull the plug, I can’t help but think, “Should I mess with the jerk a little? Inject a little paranoia and guilt? or just cut him loose? While I always toy with scenarios of how to make his life the equivalent hell that he’s so guiltlessly made mine, I haven’t — as of yet — poured the time, nor energy into the revenge scenario. Why? Because the d-bag already stole enough of my time; I’m not gifting him with more!
When your ex approaches you…
The look on your face when your ex approaches you (and you’re not sure why!)
Check out @aquacat on Instagram for more beautiful images of this kitty 😍
We’ve all been there
This poor kid is going to be on a “Best Memes of 2014” show one day. But I’d wager we’ve all been there at one point or another in our lives, even if we’re unwilling to admit it.
Every decision we make has answers based in two choices: Happiness and Fear. Sometimes we fear happiness, and sometimes we fool ourselves into being happy with the fear we know so well. Let’s move past the confusion this year. Embrace the tough road if it leads to happiness. You’re not alone.
What we think about, we bring about
And unfortunately if it’s anger or resentment, then you’ll get more anger and resentment. Do yourself a favor, and when you start thinking about how someone is pissing you off, stop yourself and think of that one thing that makes you happy. Get yourself a Positivity App if you have to.
Clinging to the past?
There comes a point in a toxic relationship where you have to choose YOU over the past. Sure you may have “invested time,” but what does that matter if the person you’re now with is no longer who they used to be? It doesn’t matter if they WERE or COULD be who you want them to be. If they’re not NOW, then they’re NOT. You now need to think about why it’s so important to stay with someone who doesn’t appreciate your good qualities.
Single Lessons Learned
A friend and I were discussing why I was meant to be single. “I really believe I’m meant to be alone right now,” I said.
“Why’s that?” he asked
“I’m clearly not learning some kind of lesson that God needs me to learn,” I mused. “It’s always got to do with a lesson. Ennndddless lessons.” I laughed. But I was still serious. Only at this point in my life I’ve been questioning if someone DID enter my world, would I really want to make room for him?”
Either way, I feel like I’m in a constant state of studying. What makes the universe choose one person to have something and another to not?
I was with some married friends this past weekend, watching them argue brutally most of the day. It was uncomfortable, to say the least. I couldn’t help but think, “Is this the lesson that I’m supposed to learn? That I’m so much stronger and better-off being single?” I breathed a sigh of relief when I returned home. After donning some poofy holiday socks, popping a bottled Root Beer, and lounging with my young son, I realized that if their route was my only other choice, I would indeed want to stay single.
What we need is a signal that confirms our lessons have been learned. Like, “Ding! Ding! Ding! Congratulations! You’ve achieved Level 8: Maintaining Your Self.” Sort of like a video game, when you reach a new level you get more weapons, ammo or more doors open.
“Ding! Ding! Ding! 1YearOfSingle, you’ve just discovered all your crappy romances were to actually help everyone else succeed in love!” Oh lovely. Well at least I know now. 😉 Lol…
Your Life Won’t Suck Now
Sometimes it’s exhausting hearing people say, “You did the right thing.” Because besides not being involved in a toxic, unhealthy relationship, I’m forever alone. And while I love me – and quite honestly can’t think of anyone I’d want to break into my happy little reverie that I’ve got going – sometimes it would be nice to feel rewarded for tough decisions I’ve made with something other than “Your life won’t suck now.” Sometimes that consolation prize just doesn’t cut it.