When your ex thinks you want them back

I dated a Long Island surfer who continuously thought I wanted him back – even months after breaking up. He was – quite honestly – nothing that I wanted in a boyfriend – and even less as a husband: he was a weak individual with no backbone, small in stature and not that bright. And so it was only weeks after our breakup that I accepted our incompatibilities and happily started the healing process. By the time he and I spoke again years later, he confused me with comments about his marital status. Here’s what happened:

Not being one to hold grudges, I contacted him about a business idea, requesting insights and direction, but during the conversation he repeatedly interjected comments like, “I’m sorry, I’m married now.” His marital statements were so oddly random that it baffled me into silence, and so I had no response for him at the time. I got the needed information, politely thanked him and ended the call. I remember looking at the phone for a few minutes afterward, wondering what the hell just happened. Ah well, I thought, he was always a little strange.

Weeks later it dawned on me, “OMG – HE THINKS I STILL WANT HIM!” I laughed for about three hours when the realization hit me. How stupid would he feel if he knew the truth? I thought. And where in God’s green earth did he get that idea from? I pondered the second point for a moment. It was then that I realized I’m a relatively mature person during breakups. Unfortunately, he mistook my Breakup Maturity as affection.

• Let’s all LOL •

As much as my pride wanted me to correct the little surfer; I never bothered to. He seemed so happy with his one fictitious victory in life – as erroneous as it was. Nowadays when I remember the surfer’s comments, I still laugh, and laugh… my new man is 150% smarter, braver, more successful and a full foot taller than Surfer Boy. But still I let it go. Sometimes you have to let little boys have their dreams. #JustSayin #LMAO