The Law of Attraction states that what you think about (repeatedly, with emotion) you bring about. Which basically means that what you’ve been motivated to concentrate on is the thing that will manifest in your life. So if you’re horrified about all your debt and frantically want to reduce your debt, you’ll end up getting more debt. Why? Because “debt” is on your mind 24/7. As they said in the movie “The Secret,” if you want to get out of debt, put your bills on auto pay and concentrate on prosperity.
The same is true for everything else in your life, including dating. Using the Law of Attraction, if you constantly think, “There are no available good men/women in the world,” the universe – acting like the wish-granting genie from the lantern – will grant you that wish: “No available good men/women.” After all, your wish is its command. The uniserse doesn’t translate and wish-grant your passive-aggressive challenge – it sticks to the literal.
Knowing this and the affect it’s had on my life, I’ve most recently avoided both reading and writing negative posts. It’s one thing if the post is helpful, but it’s quite another if the entire site is a swirling, self-indulgent, pity sucking vortex. If there’s no helpful meaning to the post and I feel an ominous gray cloud gathering, I pass. In the same vein, I’ve started rethinking, repurposing and rewriting my blog posts.
Here are a few reasons why:
“I’m so tired of drama!” I’d be surprised if any one of you have never heard or felt that sentiment. And yet here we are, rolling around in it like we’ve been dipped in flour batter and are about to be fried. If we dislike negativity so much and are so adverse to it, then why spend so much time on it? (Same can be true when spending time with spouses we despise, but thats another post.)
A continual string of negative, self-indulgent pity posts makes me look bad. It casts a gray, cranky cloud over my sparkling, golden reputatuon and makes me look like “that girl who’s always complaining,” which is not a good representation of who I really am, nor who I want to be. It doesn’t matter that this site is just a condensed view of my and other daters’ lives. If there are no helpful twists, it’s just a pity party. And who really wants to attend a party without a twist?
2.) Like Attracts Like: Positive to Positive. Negative to Negative.
Ever notice when you’re in a bad mood, all the badasses slap you on the back and cheer you on? It’s like all the negative folks are investing in your bad mood in order to fulfill the “misery likes company” theory. If you want to be happy, why spend so much time investing in your crappy mood? If you want to be happy you have to man-up; cut loose the bad attitude and accept happiness.
Within the last year I’ve been making a conscious effort to stay away from negative people, but in order to do that I’ve had to literally walk away from some folks. Now, knowing what I have to do to stay happy, I can’t even stomach hearing or being around negative people, and that has steered me in the direction of offering positive posts instead of negative posts.
3.) It Sounds Like Endless Whining
Writing a string of endless negative posts is exhausting, and quite frankly I think to myself, “I could be pouring this much attention into a solution.” Many of us at some point have had someone shout, “If you don’t like it, do something about it!” So while posting a negative kickoff statement may be helpful to set the stage, it’s rarely helpful if it becomes the entire play. Recently, instead of an entire post, I’ve chosen to dedicate some space to solutions to what are turning out to be popular dating issues.
4.) It’s Not Helping Anyone
So yes, blathering on about misfortune doesnt help anyone. It’s like putting on a one-man play about myself. I’d rather offer my experiences with a few insights in hopes that other folks can avoid the same heartaches.
5.) It’s Not Unique
Everbody falls victim to a DoucheLord or Lady at one point or another. It’s just life. That factoid makes my self-indulgent blathering even more obsolete. I may not be a therapist, but I lived and I’m hoping my unique personal background and experiences could help a few of you.