When I discover that someone has been lying, their complete silence stuns me more than the lies themselves. What’s left in their wake is an onslought of questions while the liar sails away Scott free.
I don’t understand that mindset. Isn’t there any conscience at all? How does he not think, “Wow, I really destroyed her. She’s really upset. I feel really bad.” Is he going to sit there and convince himself that he never lied to me? How do people do that? How do they allow themselves to think that way?
What kind of person does that?
And after everything he told me about his ex, he’s going back?
Within seconds after thinking the questions above, I realized he could have lied to me about everything – not just the one major point that I discovered. I have no idea what the truth is now and because he doesn’t care enough to actually tell me, I’ll never know. Those revelations threw me into a new phase of shock, and my head spun so much that I forced myself to refocus on something else. Something positive.
It annoys me that the first thing I think of when I get up in the morning is this. I don’t deserve this and he knows that. I’m constantly refocusing all day from negative to positive. Thank God it’s working.
Anyone whose lies are so grand that you have to break up with them isn’t worth the time it takes to figure out why they lied in the first place. Add to that the most disrespectful type of silence there is and you’ve got a guilt-free excuse to cut them out of your life forever and move on immediately.
I used to be shocked at the crazy things some women did after breakups. Hell, I thought his wife was crazy. But after his disrespectful onsloght of silence from him, I understand now. I understand why some women go batsh!t crazy.
All I can think now is that they can have each other. Theyre both insane. What I’d like to do now, though, is stay positive. I think helping others survive breakups by focusing on the future and staying positive is essential to any recovery, and certainly helps regain footing in the wake of the maddening silence.
3 thoughts on “In The Wake Of A Maddening Silence”
You are so right.
The silence part is the worst but the upside of it from a man is that it doesn’t give false hope for a reconciliation.
That is the only functional part of a man’s silence in my opinion. I’ve always said: No Contact, No Interest.
This part of the break up doesn’t feel very good (excluding the lies) until you find someone else and then once you do that former icky silence feels like closure.
I agree! And quite frankly shows me what a coward he really is as well.