Dysfunctional · Gross · Life · Red Flags · Relationships

Close Your Mouth, Cow-Girl

Dear Diary
Theres a cow chewing her cud behind me on my commuter train home. It almost reminds me of the first date I had with my ex-husband. What part of his mouth dangling open and food sloshing around in there did I find appealing? Oh wait, I didn’t. I do recall on my first date with my ex-husband, I actually made a joke about his mouth being opened when he chewed. His reply was something like, “That’s who I am and I’m not changing for anyone.” Apparently my need to fulfill my mother’s sick need to have me get married to this guy outweighed common manners… or logic, for that matter.

Thankfully the train is about to pull in and I can bid a mental adieu to our not-so-fair cowgirl.

PS> I promise to take a  photo next time

3 thoughts on “Close Your Mouth, Cow-Girl

  1. I hate that sound ….hate it!!! can’t stand it!!! my children (22,19,17) know this….but just to irritate me they will make that wet slapping sound. When I was 8mths pregnant with my oldest, my (ex/kids dad) husband was sitting in the recliner, watching football minding his own business…….but chewing gum like a hungry ass cow. I asked him nicely to please stop…..he did for a minute and then resumed to his sloppy sound making….my blood began to boil, “knock it off, chew with your mouth closed” I said. ….. he mumbled something ….I tried to ignore it but you can’t ignore THAT sound, next thing he saw was a very pregnant woman approaching him FAST, I held my hand out and told him to spit that gum out in my hand now or I’m going to in and getting it!! he spit it out.


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