No, it’s not a new toy. When I was married and realized my husband was a serious alcoholic, I kept thinking, “This won’t be forever. God won’t leave me in this.” The fear of being killed was overwhelming. My husband had a shotgun, knives. I had to plot my evacuation with hair raising awareness, hoping my husband wouldn’t discover my plot, hoping that what I knew of him was correct – that he wasn’t up to actually killing me. So while being single isn’t nearly as life threatening, I’m still seeing a lot of single folks on Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook and other social media focusing on Singledom as if it’s the end of their lives. If you really think Singledom is that horrendous, just keep thinking, “GWLMIT.” And feel free to substitute whatever higher power it is that you believe in even if it’s not God. Because you won’t be in this forever. Just do yourselves a favor: Instead of concentrating on what you don’t want in a partner, concentrate on what you do want. Positive. Always.
GWLMIT
1 Year of Single 
You have a point. So, were there warning signs that he was an alcoholic/abuser? 🙂 proud of your actions.
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I think part of the problem is that alcoholics hide things. And because I didn’t know the signs, I didn’t know he was an alcoholic. My mother also didn’t help. She was constantly trying to marry us off to any trash that was available. * See “How My mother made me desperate.”
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The signs that I noticed: Empty bottles. He would go to lunch during work and not come home from lunch until 3am. A six pack a week turned into a six pack a day. Refusal to get help of any kind, including marriage counseling. His friend calling me saying, “You know he’s an alcoholic, right?” Him being so drunk he couldn’t hear me slamming my foot against the door in order to let me in. Lots, lots more. But when you have a mother who says, “Aw he’s doing so much better, just give him another chance,” it skews your reality. Read “How My Mother Made Me Desperate,” and it’ll make more sense… Thanks for commenting!
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Oh and thank you! I am very proud of myself for leaving him – I saved myself and my son from a cinematic, drama-filled, dangerous life. ❤ to you!
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You left that situation. You made it out. Do you know how amazing that is? Anything else you face in this life will be a cake walk because you are strong and will always survive. Keep moving forward!
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It’s funny that you say that, Scarlett, because I thought the same thing. What’s more difficult than a cinematic departure from a potentially lethal situation right? But it turns out that everything is relative. After decades of dysfunctional relationship with my parents, I finally had to let them go. That was actually more difficult than leaving the alcoholic. But yes, with each ridiculous event, I’m learning more than ever how capable I am. Free at last, free at least, thank God I’m free at last!
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