App-Centric & Vibrator Rescue

It’s been a while since I added to my little glossary here on 1YearofSingle, but thanks to Jen, I have two more.

App-Centric

Jen’s telling me I’m app-centric. Okay so I looked-up “centric” because I didn’t think it fits 100% but it sounds so good because her point is that I have apps for just about everything, and thats centric-sounding. Lol. The other is:

The Officer of Vibrator Retrieval

For some reason Jen’s convinced that if her apartment burns down, her mother will be horrified at the discovery of her vibrator. So Jamie* and I are in charge of getting Rufus* but since Jamie has been in the middle of a pretty big move with her boyfriend, I’ve been promoted! I told Jen, “Even if I have a boyfriend when your apartment burns down, I’ll snap on my rubber gloves, sit on his shoulders and grab the box from the top shelf where Rufus lies within just so mom has no idea you’re doing the horizontal – and sometimes vertical – mambo with a rubber dick.”

* Names of friends and vibrators were changed to protect the guilty

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