He’s Just Not That Into You

This should go hand-in-hand with my denial post because we choose to ignore many of these signs. These are some clear indications that you’re not a priority in his life.

He says he’s not a texter
I dont care if he’s got no fingers and is a severe dyslexic – if the man likes you, he’ll find a way.

You see him texting, but you haven’t heard from him
Clearly you’re not the object of his interest. Doesn’t matter if it’s work or someone else, you’re not it. Stick with your gut feeling, because any guy who’s interested in you enough will tell you about his day long before you ask.

If you’re disgusted with yourself after contacting him
If it’s been a length of time and you contact him first – and are disgusted or pissed at yourself for doing it – there’s a good chance there’s another underlying matter that’s not being addressed. Like why you haven’t heard from him in the first place. These intuitive feelings are there for a reason. Be the brave Bitch that Sherry Argov wants you to be and pay attention.

He’s consistently unavailable at certain times of the day
If he’s interested in you, you’ll be the one he’s contacting most nights. If a guy disappears around the same time every day without ever checking in, it’s probably because he’s got something else to do. And it ain’t you.

“I dont know what to tell you”
This is one of the coldest, harshest, yet most passive aggressive statements that a man can tell a woman. If your guy throws this at you, run for the hills. It means he does know what to tell you, he just doesn’t want to say it. A guy who says this knows his opinion isn’t going to be popular with you.

You go on staycation and he’s MIA
This point is doubly pathetic because unless you’ve booked your staycation solid, you’re clearly available. A guy who really likes you will keep tabs on your schedule. If he doesn’t know, remember, or try to spend time with you – or is just simply missing in action – it’s because you’re not a priority and you’re definitely not on his mind.

He doesn’t ask how it went
You had a huge meeting. Your family had an important event. Your visit to the doctor was scary. If you warned him, but he doesn’t follow-up to see how it went, chances are he doesn’t care. You’re not a priority.

He says hes looking forward to spending time… with someone else
One guy I dated told me that he was looking forward to spending the summer with his son. Aw, how sweet, I thought. I then realized – with a gut-wrenching sadness – I wasn’t in that statement at all. I was no longer his priority.

Side note: Dont confuse a good father with this scenario. A good father will make time for his child and still try to make you feel special, even if he can’t see you. A guy who just isn’t that into you will say the statement and not care that you’re on the verge of tears and not try to make it up somehow.

He tells you things after they happen
I discovered this point on the tail end of my last relationship. If a guy really cares about you, he’ll tell you about upcoming events. Even if its something you can’t attend, theres a good chance he’ll be thinking of you while he’s there. If he tells you about the event after the event, you’re not a priority. For example, if he says something like: “I’m looking forward to the Train concert.” Sounds like he wants you to know where he’ll be and he’ll most likely be thinking about you or wishing you were with him. But “Oh yeah, I went to that concert, it was awesome,” means you weren’t in his head at all or he didn’t want you to know where he was.

If you say goodbye and he says he’ll miss you
This ain’t no compliment, sister. This means he’s not motivated enough to make you stay. Let him go. Believe me when I say there’s no need to keep someone who’s not willing to work to keep you. It’ll just be an exercise in frustration and heartache. (And don’t go testing this point repeatedly to see what his reaction will be.)

If any of these points plant a pit in your stomach, theres a good chance it’s already happened to you… (imagine how I feel after writing this).