Out of the Gate, Late

“Omg! My alarm didnt go off! Omg it’s 6 o’clock!” I jumped out of bed with a faux razor-sharp clear mind that only waking-up late can provide.

The thing that annoys me – being a girl – is that as soon as I wake up, thoughts of what “he’s” doing flood my mind. I doubt men go through similar issues. I mean really, what do they think about – farting and morning woodies? Hardly a mind-bending emotional annoyance. If anything, they announce their morning issues with verve. “Hey Pauly look – my woody is bigger than yesterday! You’ll never see a girl run to her balcony and announce her morning ailments proudly, “Hey Jen – I can’t stop thinking about my ex! Whoohoo!!

And yet I’m suppose to be elated that I recognized the potential of disaster with the ex and cut the “relationship” off early? I haven’t gotten there yet. I almost miss the days of purposely ignoring the right move because I would have gotten a few more dates out of it. But as it stands, I did the right thing and am left feeling the loss.

It’s crap. I need to have bitches rallied around me, quoting Sherry Argov’s book, Why Men Love Bitches, just to reinforce my You-Did-The-Right-Thing validation.

Total thinking-about-relationships overload. I hate thinking about it this much. I’m glad the effects of the morning alarm situation are wearing off and the hum of the train is lulling me to sleep… … … But now I’m thinking, I bet guys don’t have blogs dedicated to their morning woodies… Or do they??

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