Break-Ups

I don’t know one person who hasn’t been dumped like a five pound sack of bloody horse heads into the East River. And generally after you’ve broken up with someone, chances are that you feel like that horse head: discombobulated, disconnected and discarded.

I’ve had the all-out displeasure of having to dump myself from the last two relationships. One was a game player and the other was married. And what’s worse is that I had to end the relationships because part of me really wanted to remain in ignorant bliss. But I’ve learned too much in the past years to keep going with any relationship that’s probably going to end badly anyway.

But it doesn’t make it any easier and it certainly doesn’t make me feel like a winner. “But you did win,” said my friend, Joe. “Your prize is not being in a shitty relationship.”

Please. That hardly feels like a prize.

Frankly, I’m sick of “winning” in this format. It’s like winning a car and you discover it’s a Pinto.